Twitter Sucks, end of story!

May 14, 2009 by buzzy
Filed under: General Buzzing 

Die you evil little bastard, die!

Die you evil little bastard, die!

I’m not going to do a point by point post here, I’m just going to say what needs to be said.

Twitter sucks.

PERIOD.

It’s not a good marketing tool, it’s not a good way to promote your products or your website.

It’s a way to be lazy and kill time at work. It’s a way for wanna be marketers to give each other hi fives all day. It’s a way for people that couldn’t hack it on myspace or facebook to stay in touch with each other.

Except for a select few companies, like Zappos, no one is really making it work for business. Including Twitter itself. (please do not send me your exceptions to the rule, even Ashton Kutcher is going to back me on this, it’s a lame waste of time for most…)

I like to stumble at stumbleupon. But I know when I’m stumbling that it’s a huge waste of time. Wanna know what makes stumbling an even bigger waste of time? Stumbling articles about Twitter! Stop already, I beg you!

There are NO redeaming qualities at Twitter. It’s a chatroom people. You all stepped back 15 years and are spending your entire day in a chatroom. One with even less interaction than MSN or Spinchat had 15 years ago!

Nope, Twitter is a huge fucking waste of time and quite frankly, I’m tired of you sending me your articles as to why I should be twittering. Your pie graphs, charts, and bullet point blog posts are boring the living shit out of me.

Stop, ok. I’m not going to Tweet, Twitter, Twatter, nor Twotter. I’m not going to Retweet a damn thing, nor am I going to suggest my clients spend a single second on Twitter.

What am I going to do? I’m going to wait until it drys up like geocities and laugh like a loony at all of the lops that wasted months of their life hanging on 140 characters of 100% bullshit.

There, I said it.

Now I feel better.


Tags: , ,

Comments

64 Comments on Twitter Sucks, end of story!

  1. Sophie on Fri, 15th May 2009 2:11 am

    2. I agree with you 100%

    I have tried Twitter it seems senseless and its another hype which will go down with passage of time.

  2. Chris McElroy on Mon, 18th May 2009 2:10 pm

    3. I love it when people claim it’s “the program” whatever it may be, doesn’t work rather than admitting they either don’t know how to make it work or have not spent the time it takes to make it work.

  3. buzzy on Mon, 18th May 2009 2:14 pm

    4. I agree with you, often people blame the wrong thing and that might be the case here with me too.

    But I don’t think so.

    What I do see is a bunch of people pimping a chatroom. That’s what it really boils down to, at least to me.

  4. Stephen Weil on Mon, 1st Jun 2009 6:33 am

    5. I think Chris Mc and others have hit on something. Twitter definitely has it’s uses: to notify people about emergency situations, to provide valuable (and pointed) insights that might help remote work group be more productive (I can’t send a group IM), to provide instant notification of global events, etc. But as long as 99.9% of it’s users think it’s sole purpose is to inform the world about their latest cup of joe, or what time they woke up, Twitter will go the way of all such limited communication models.

  5. Lace on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 3:07 pm

    6. “Wanna know what makes stumbling an even bigger waste of time? Stumbling articles about Twitter! Stop already, I beg you!”

    ‘Nuff said.

  6. Nathan on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 3:43 pm

    7. I could not agree more.. Twitters is for twits.

  7. Al on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 4:27 pm

    8. You spelled redeeming wrong.

  8. Ashent on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 4:32 pm

    9. “I like to stumble at stumbleupon. But I know when I’m stumbling that it’s a huge waste of time. Wanna know what makes stumbling an even bigger waste of time? Stumbling articles about Twitter! Stop already, I beg you!”

    Thanks.. I really needed to run across this article on my stumble. Thanks a lot.

  9. TJ on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 4:57 pm

    10. You’re doing it wrong.

  10. Miles Smith on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 4:58 pm

    11. bout time, someone finally came out and said it, twitter is essentially the “whats on your mind” feature of facebook and nothing else. It is pointless, unless you are awesome and lead an exciting life i.e. “just got back from operation I had to have a bullet removed from my chest after I single handidly defeated the mafia armed with nothing but a stun gun and a xylophone” no one is going to give a monkey about what you did today.

  11. Michael on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 5:19 pm

    12. Every time I hear the word “Twitter” come out of someone’s mouth, I want to punch them. STFU already.

  12. Ed on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 5:28 pm

    13. At last someone with the same opinion of Twitter as me. I thought I was failing to understand it or something as three weeks of exploring the system told me it was a waste of time but everyone kept saying it was fantastic and the way to go.

    It’s not just me that thinks it’s rubbish! Hurrah!

  13. Casey on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 7:15 pm

    14. I agree with you; and I got to this article through stumbleupon…. lol

  14. Jose Jose on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 8:04 pm

    15. what’s so funny is that i found this through stumbling

  15. kevin on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 9:13 pm

    16. twitter is chat. plain and simple. chat without the mental construct of a “room”. just a big assed chat lobby. following people or news/political anchors and going to their spacific diatribes IS like the room thing… its chat under the guise of microblogging….. chat is for losers. ergo… twitter is for losers too.

  16. anon on Sun, 14th Jun 2009 11:20 pm

    17. LOL STUMBLED

  17. Me on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 12:53 am

    18. I’m not going to do a point by point post here, I’m just going to say what needs to be said.

    Twitter sucks.

    PERIOD.

    Ahh, okay. Then what’s with the rest of the article?

  18. ixnay on the tubmlingnay on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 1:01 am

    19. That is all.

  19. Richie on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 6:52 am

    20. Well, before yesterday I’d have agreed with you. But I did indeed stumble across one of those Twitter articles yesterday and you know what - it has changed me.

    I’m not sure how many of you, including the author, are huge on web design, in both design and coding. I happen to be keen on both, I’m building myself a personal blog as we speak. But anyone who’s interested in the pasttime knows that it’s always best to be learning, from articles other people have written, tutorials etc so you can expand your own style. Personally I’ve become a big fan of certain people such as Chris Coyier from CSS tricks who I know uses Twitter. I know that if he finds a good interesting article out there on the web and he links it through his Twitter, I know I’ll be interested in it. In a way it’s like taking StumbleUpon and filtering it further to articles I know I’ll like.

    As a social medium I don’t really see how it’s any better than Facebook’s status updates yet but I’m yet to actually get to know Twitter. I just know it will be useful for me for some aspects and for that reason why not embrace it?

    And I find it bad that almost half of your “article” is just you showing your dislike for it without actually showing any reasons for it. If you hate reading articles about Twitter, stop writing them, espescially when they hardly show any reasoning.

  20. Richie on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 6:59 am

    21. Ah, sorry to go on, it looks like a lot more when it removes the extra lines I put in :S

    Anyway, I guess for that same reason is why I love Stumble. Although a lot of it is useless, I sometimes stumble across articles which I can learn from. For me it is an invaluable tool, I guess it all comes down to how you use these different tools but if it’s not working for you, you can’t exactly state that the tool sucks, end of, and expect everyone to follow your opinion without actually showing why it sucks.

    It’s just the same as why I wouldn’t believe Twitter was useful at all until someone shows me the potential of how it can be useful for me.

  21. buzzy on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 7:08 am

    22. To me, reading an article entitled, “15 ways Twitter should be Integrated in your Company”, or “Why your Employees Should Twitter” make me want to punch the author in the face. It’s why I wrote this article.

    I love how the one defender mentioned Dell and their bottom line. I did write in the article that a select few companies had made Twitter work for them. Primarily because they have millions of Twitter sheep standing by for their product updates.

    But again, it’s a glorified bulletin board. So what, you can post to it via your cellphone. BFD. The same people that are spouting the Twitter praises were probably trapped in AOL chat prior to Twitters existence.

    Anyway, I digress. Thank you all for your comments and opinions.

    I mostly wrote the article so I had a reason to fill the Twitter bird full of bullet holes in photoshop… :)

  22. buzzy on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 7:46 am

    23. BTW, I often add misspelled words just for entertainment purposes.

  23. DB on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 11:30 am

    24. Stumbled this and completely agree with you

  24. UTAlan on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 12:53 pm

    25. I respectfully disagree. While it can definitely be a time-killer (just as Stumbling can), it can also be a good way to promote your site or to learn new things. If someone I’m following posts about a new jQuery library or how to optimize your SQL code, I may actually become a better coder because of it.

    Can it be a time-waster? Yes. Does it have to be? No.

  25. Phill on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 1:14 pm

    26. FFS will you wankers stop spamming Stumbleupon with twatter crap
    Jeez!

  26. Elad on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 6:13 pm

    27. Why did I stumble upon this

  27. buzzy on Mon, 15th Jun 2009 6:41 pm

    28. For all of the Twitter defenders, there hasn’t been ONE good reason that it does not suck….

    A point of its own, don’t you think?

    Elad, don’t you see the irony stumbling the twitter hate?

  28. Markus on Thu, 18th Jun 2009 6:48 pm

    29. Seriously guys, this article looks photoshopped.

  29. Andy on Thu, 18th Jun 2009 6:53 pm

    30. I came to this realization after reading an article using all of the “hip” new terms related to it such as tweeting, etc. I had never looked at the page or stumbled any articles before but all of those moronic terms infuriated me, glad I stumbled this.

  30. Retard on Fri, 19th Jun 2009 12:00 am

    31. Retards

  31. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 1:32 pm

    32. i just stumbled upon this shit dammit go dig a hole and live in it

  32. gmo on Sun, 28th Jun 2009 10:26 pm

    33. Fucken. Idiot.

  33. Blog Content Writer on Thu, 2nd Jul 2009 7:26 am

    34. Here’s how Twitter works for it’s fans:

    edited and reposted below in a new comment

  34. buzzy on Thu, 2nd Jul 2009 7:27 am
    35. The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
    Jeff Goldblum Will Be Missed
    http://www.colbertnation.com
    Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Jeff Goldblum
  35. Phil Novara on Tue, 7th Jul 2009 10:52 pm

    36. Im not a HUGE fan either, but we are missing a very valuable tool…you now have access to literally MILLIONS of minds. What they are thinking, when they are thinking, and their thought reactions.

    Yet, this isn’t a valuable marketing tool?

    http://search.twitter.com/

    GO AHEAD…find out what your clients are talking about daily in their tweets, I dare you. Would that NOT be relevant responsive information for your company?

    To overlook the power of a social tool like Twitter will leave your business in the dark. Not so much in a promotional sense. More as a real time measure of how people feel. Therefore, you can react quickly in the consumers mind.

    Keep your ear to the tracks…Twitter is changing the game.

    Phil Novara
    philip.novara@urbanbacon.com

  36. buzzy on Wed, 8th Jul 2009 9:10 am

    37. Hey Phil,

    there’s this really cool tool that also let’s you see what millions of your clients are talking about. It’s called Google and you can use it to search your name and your company name and everything!

    Oh, and your argument would stand up for Propeller.com , Stumbleupon.com, Myspace.com , Facebook.com or just about any other social network. So you defending your twitter chatroom with this argument just doesn’t hold up.

    You can spend your entire day “keeping your ear to the tracks” and never actually get any work done. So while you’re listening for the coming train, your clients are hopping on a bus to see if they can find someone that can get the job done.

    Time is money. Time spent on Twitter is a waste of money.

    There. 2 cents more.

  37. crazy konrad on Wed, 8th Jul 2009 5:42 pm

    38. maybe ill sound stupid now but what is twitter?

  38. Elisabeth S. on Thu, 9th Jul 2009 12:48 am

    39. I use twitter, and I… well, I’d like to say I love it to be contrary. But I do quite like it. I follow maybe 10 people - one is a web story. one is buddhist quotes. the rest are good friends. i remove people that tell me about their sour coffee and hangnails or post more than once a day. i think it’s a great alternative way to stay in touch, and a great application for news companies. sure people post stupid shit that’s a waste of time - but i sorta have no idea what you’re talking about, because i don’t read it. just because many people use something to waste time does not mean that thing is a waste of time. when i post, it’s usually something amusing or an interesting (yes, i know everything i do is of interest to me, but gimme a break) thought or perspective about my experience. and i like hearing my friend’s thoughts. because i like my friends, and they aren’t brainless. so. if you don’t like twitter or can’t find a way to make it useful (or can’t be bothered to) that’s fine - don’t use it. it’s not such a widely used system that you’re an outlier or anything. but i do think it is unreasonable to say it has no value. i think its news and current-event-commentary value is really intriguing and solid.

  39. buzzy on Thu, 9th Jul 2009 4:28 pm

    40. Pretty much shows how over hyped Twitter is.

    BTW, has anyone been reading the predictions of the death of Twitter? Seems that I’m not alone in my Twitter deathwatch….

  40. theHuston on Thu, 9th Jul 2009 6:57 pm

    41. Ha-oww-lee-eey SHIT thank you.

    I almost bought a domain and built a site to say…

    FUCK YOU FUCKIN TWITTER FUCKSTERS IN THE MOUTH

    I do not give two shits about what the fuck you are doing.

  41. buzzy on Fri, 10th Jul 2009 7:49 am

    42. Oh, and it’s not just me that thinks Twitter sucks:

    Google Search “Twitter Sucks”

    And then I found this…. On Cnet! (God Bless Rory Reid for telling it like it is)

    Most Twitter users are disturbed-
    I find myself fascinating, but the reality is that I’m not, and neither are you. So with that in mind, why are some people creating Twitter accounts for their pets? Worst still, why are people creating Twitter accounts for the liver of another human being whom they’ve never met? Seriously, some people really should get out more.

    That’s just one piece of the lovefest that is Rory’s rundown of the reasons why Twitter totally sucks…. Be sure and read all of the article at Cnet UK

    Rory’s Twitter Review

  42. Phil Novara on Sun, 12th Jul 2009 8:19 pm

    43. Buzzy,

    Denying a fantastic social tool is not advisable. With twitter you are 100% evaluating customers in real time. Giving the ability to handle customer concerns in REAL TIME. To deny that does not seem like a good idea.

    Not saying waste time with worthless tweets, but really get an ongoing idea of what customers are thinking. Then respond. There has not been a tool so far that has allowed this so easily. It can be on-demand damage control…lets face it, nothing is perfect and it is better to respond to the customers feelings unless your selling oil.

    Look, I dont think Twitter is a god by any means, but I DO think its valuable for a business. Lets just not overlook it and call it stupid, lets utilize it.

    Even if we disagree…I like your site man, have never seen Damien Walters before…that is incredible!

  43. buzzy on Sun, 12th Jul 2009 9:26 pm

    44. Thanks Phil.

    I’m still trying to figure out what we’re going to do with it to be honest. Right now it’s kind of a mix of whatever catches my attention.

    And yes, I do see your point. I still stand by my feeling that Twitter is extremely over hyped and that everyone is falling all over themselves to explain why they are spending most of their day in a new age chatroom.

    Hey Phil, you want to write a guest blog post sometime? Shoot me an email if you are interested. webmaster “at” buzzup dot org…..

    Seriously, if anyone wants to make a post here, they are welcome. This site gets kickass traffic. Like 5k page views a day.

    Carry on. Let’s continue the Twitter trashing, shall we? :)

  44. Wyvern on Mon, 20th Jul 2009 6:12 pm

    45. I love you.

    That’s all I can say. I just love you.

  45. buzzy on Mon, 20th Jul 2009 8:02 pm

    46. Wyvern, I love ya right back you Twitter hater you. :)

  46. BN on Thu, 23rd Jul 2009 3:57 pm

    47. It’s funny because I stumbled upon this and it’s an article about twitter. Hahaha.

  47. idejmcd on Thu, 23rd Jul 2009 11:30 pm

    48. this guys proves his point than getting more attention than probably 98% of twitter updates. Way to go, Twitter-hater!

  48. Phil E. Drifter on Fri, 24th Jul 2009 4:58 pm

    49. Twitter is fucking retarded. It’s not a tool because how the hell do you get thousands of people to know about your twit account? YOU DON’T!

    NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU, YOU SELF-IMPORTANT TWATS!

  49. Michael on Fri, 24th Jul 2009 5:43 pm

    50. You know what else? Nobody gives a shit what any of you think. Or me for that matter.
    Just because the internet has given you a voice doesn’t mean you deserve it. If your whole day is spent trying to prove why something you’re not cool enough to use sucks, then my first statement holds validity. As does that one.
    Nobody gives a shit what you think about Twitter. You think you can do better? Do it, or shut your flapping cake hole.

  50. buzzy on Sun, 26th Jul 2009 12:07 pm

    51. And another defends his love of the Twitter chatroom, by telling us to just shut up. Because Michael doesn’t like what we have to say.

    Let’s consider Michael for a minute. He’s obviously a chatroom guy. Maybe late at night on Twitter, in dirty white underwear, peanut butter smeared all over his body.

    I bet he was the fat kid in school that offered to let everyone use his new football if the cool kids would let him play. Later going home with his bottom lip stuck out, yelling that he’s taking his ball and going home. “Cuz you guys don’t play right.”

    You’re an ass Michael. Just because you have an internet connection doesn’t mean you deserve one. Crawl back into your studio apartment, go play with your troll dolls, and shut your fucking pie hole.

  51. Dustin on Tue, 18th Aug 2009 2:11 am

    52. Twitter is for fags, I have been saying it since the beginning. (Nothing but love for my gay friends out there, but fag is really the only word that gets the point across)

  52. LotsOfYesMen on Wed, 19th Aug 2009 12:59 pm

    53. Many laughs here, and lots of bandwagon jumpers.

  53. buzzy on Wed, 19th Aug 2009 1:18 pm

    54. Three months worth of comments and Twitter still hasn’t changed. It’s not monetized, nor does it seem that it will be any time soon. So it’s a losing business for losing business people.

    Ironic.

  54. Allen Taylor on Fri, 11th Sep 2009 7:24 pm

    55. Buzzy, you made me laugh. But you’re wrong about a few things:

    1) Redeeming doesn’t have an A in it;
    2) Other people besides Zappos are making money on Twitter
    3) Twitter is a good marketing tool

    However, you’re right about one thing:

    Twitter is for lazy bastards who couldn’t make it on Facebook. I’m a lazy bastard. But I love Twitter. It isn’t wasting my time at all.

  55. buzzy on Fri, 11th Sep 2009 10:37 pm

    56. Even Google agrees when it comes to Twitter….

    Twitter is for……

    And no Allen, I’m not wrong. But thanks for the feedback. :)

    And in my world, Redeaming has an “A”.

  56. Twitter for SEO - No Purpose for Twitter - WebProWorld on Thu, 1st Oct 2009 9:17 am

    57. [...] Everytime someone says Twitter to me, I want to punch them in the face. Twitter sucks. Twitter Sucks, its a chatroom, not the Messiah | Buzz Up - da Buzzy Blog __________________ Business Blogs | Texas SEO Web Design | Affiliate [...]

  57. Huge Balls on Thu, 8th Oct 2009 8:01 pm

    58. Here’s an interesting page on what not to tweet:

    Stop Tweeting

    Oh, and by all means, follow me….

    http://twitter.com/businessblogs

  58. Huge Balls on Sun, 11th Oct 2009 9:50 am

    59. Even Miley Cyrus has given up on Twitter.

    What is she, like 12 or something? But even she knows that Twitter sucks.

    Here’s her video explaining her exit and the overall suckiness that is twitter:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tSOTQPUQoU

  59. Phil on Wed, 3rd Feb 2010 9:27 am

    60. “I like to stumble at stumbleupon. But I know when I’m stumbling that it’s a huge waste of time. Wanna know what makes stumbling an even bigger waste of time? Stumbling articles about Twitter! Stop already, I beg you!”

    I stumbled this article about Twitter. I agree stumbling articles about Twitter and using Twitter is a waste of time. That is why I thought I’d point out you have infact become what you tried to distance yourself from. You have failed. So please “stop already, I beg you!”

  60. buzzy on Wed, 3rd Feb 2010 10:01 am

    61. You make it sound as if I’m responsible for the people that have submitted it to StumbleUpon or the other social networks. You’re right, this article has become viral and literally thousands of people have seen it. As far as being able to stop others from bookmarking it, that’s where my power ends Phil. Sorry.

  61. Fail Buzzy Bail on Sat, 13th Mar 2010 2:03 pm

    62. Fail. Fail. Fail.

  62. Brandon Sheley on Fri, 4th Jun 2010 10:40 am

    63. ignorance is bliss ;)
    I’ve made dozens and dozens of client contacts on twitter
    guess that money I charge for my servers sucks too..lol

    this post has fail written all over it.

  63. TomTom on Sat, 19th Jun 2010 12:36 am

    64. The main argument seems to be that Twitter is good for business marketing, and similar business related things. So, what does the public, who the businesses should be targeting get from Twitter? I don’t see any positives, but I guess someone would like to know there is a new ithingy coming out to waste their money on.

    As a result, Twitter should end up being a bunch of companies marketing at each other. There is no reason for the average person to have a Twitter account unless they like being bombarded by corporations even more than they already are.

  64. Huge Balls on Wed, 23rd Jun 2010 7:37 pm

    65. I found this today:

    Twitter is fucking lame.

    Yup, Twitter is fucking lame.

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